


Stabby emotions

by sychia_rin



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Decisions, Bad Dreams, Blood, Caretaking, Childhood Trauma, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Whump, Connor Deserves Happiness, Crying, Cuddles, Dorks in Love, Drinking, Gavin Reed Deserves Happiness, Gavin Reed Whump, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, Good Parent Hank Anderson, Hank Anderson is Connor and Upgraded Connor | RK900's Parent, Healing, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Revenge, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Stabbing, Violence, Whump, Worried Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Wounds, concussion, lots of crying lmao, moving in, religious trauma, slow burn connor/gavin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:47:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21750013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sychia_rin/pseuds/sychia_rin
Summary: An android that Gavin helped arrest wants a bit of revenge. Connor is given the task of taking care of an injured Gavin.
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed, Connor/Gavin Reed, I think thats the right one lmao, rk800/gavin
Comments: 24
Kudos: 158





	1. Can I help you?

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a bit since I've seen a playthrough of this, so parts may be less accurate. This is also my first fic! Any feedback is welcome!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added in art to this chapter! I might get around to adding more of my art in the other chapters as well but I should probably finish writing this first. (Also I may redo this one cus I hate the way I drew his face) If you draw anything for this or are interested in prof reading for me definitely let me now on tumblr (sychiarin)

Gavin really just wanted to go the fuck home and have a drink. He had had a very long day at the office, and everything was making him pissed off. Especially Connor.

The detective was... aware of his ridiculously short fuse. Connor seemed to enjoy bringing it up, acting as if Gavin didn't fucking know already. Like he needed the shitty robo cob's help. Hard pass. The lieutenant had pulled him aside one day threatening him if he didn't start to play nice. Or nicer. So, due to the risk of losing his source of income, he avoided talking to damn tin can altogether. His hatred was still filled to the brim, but distance did seem to help Gavin's emotional issues. 

Don't go and get all fuckin mixed up, Gavin still wasn't a huge fan of androids, but sometimes he would forget that Connor wasn't flesh and blood. Then he would remember and get pissed again.  
\----

Gavin did try to sleep, but he was far too restless. So, he poured another shitty drink and sat on his balcony in a shower of self-pity. What’s the point in fighting it, right?

He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep in general. The detective mostly drank until he blacked out, and it seemed that tonight wouldn't be much different. His watch revealed that he would have to head to work in ten minutes. Great, he'd ended up with no sleep that night.  
Fuckin Connor had to go and get all up in his business. 'Why does your breath smell like that, Gavin? Why are your eyes so red, Gavin? Why you look like shit Gavin?'

Okay, maybe that last one not so much, but it was implied. Robots with their perfect hair and perfect decisions and perfect everything. Not everyone can just know what to do. Gavin was worse than Connor in probably every goddamn way, but at least he wasn’t a piece of artificial crap.

Gavin combed his fingers through his greasy hair with a sigh. He thought about that android too much. With the rain coming, he was about to head inside. Then the hair stood up on the back of his neck. Judging by the stabby feeling on the small of his back, the lovey sensation was from some prick with a knife.

Great. Gavin grunted out a "Can I help you?" Such a great damn day. He was going to die in the cold and the fucking rain.

"Sure, you were the one who arrested me two years ago for killing my owner. The thing is, I didn't do it. Two years I was put away for something I didn't do. They just figured that out. No one wants to hire me, I can't find work. " The man, who Gavin remembered as a deviant, shoved him forward against the railing. "Actually, no one wants me in general. Not that that matters anymore, I don’t want to be here anyways. But before I get shoved back in some box, I'm gonna fuck you up as much as you did me." The android pushed against the detective, grinding his ribs into the metal in front of him.

Gavin managed a wheeze, "I was trying my fucking best to do what was right. We all can’t be perfect." He did try, at the time he was fucking angry about everything. Everything sucked, and it still sucked now. All he got for trying was fuckin broken ass ribs years later.  
The android grinned, "I was too. Do you know what happened to me? Huh? They kept me alive to test me, to figure out what went wrong. I became an experiment, and I was until they had another android from CyberLife take a look in my memory. I had watched my owner die, but I tried to save him."

The man's face was pained, he shook his head. "Caleb had wanted to die. One of his hobbies was programing, he had a fixation with androids and anything CyberLife. He had changed my programming, he could order me to do anything and everything. But, he was nice. Normally he would ask me what I wanted to do, but I didn't know. He was trying to make a robot human. Maybe he felt like a failure, but he eventually ordered me to do what he was afraid of. I actually tried to fight it, but I was too late and it killed him. He got his wish for me, but didn’t get to see it. All the police saw, all you saw, was a monster."

Gavin exhaled a sign, "So killing me is going to fix that?" Gavin deserved this, he'd always just fucked shit up. The world would go on without him.

The deviant ran the knife down to Gavin's leg and growled into his ear, "No, it won't. But, I want to know that the man who helped ruin my life is suffering just as much as me. I want you to feel pain." Gavin screamed out as the knife sliced the back of his calf. "Maybe I'll get the death penalty, they still haven't outlawed putting us down being put down. We get torn apart and repurposed."

The deviant shushed him; covering his mouth he raised the knife to slice along his chest. "This is where they opened me, they ripped me apart to see what went wrong."

Gavin grabbed at the knife to try to stop him. He cursed and threw himself back against his attacker. The android fell back into Gavin's sliding door and shattered the glass. Gavin rushed towards the door, if he could get inside he could grab his phone off the counter and call--

The android got a death grip on his leg and plunged his blade into Gavin's thigh, and he went down with a yell. His head bounced off the metal of the balcony. The attacker kneeled on his chest immobilizing him and patted the detective's cheek, "Don't bother shouting. No one will care."

With that, Gavin's sight fuzzed out with the last of his adrenalin.


	2. No fucking shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor finds a surprise ;(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm gonna post this now, but I am planning on going back to lengthen both chapters. (I got this one to 1000 wrds!!! It still seems short as hell lmao) Once my winter break starts I'll have lots of time to do so.

"Hey! Connor, do you know where the fuck Reed is? He better not be staying home to avoid the paperwork for his recent case. I am not going to end up having to do it again. The weather is bad enough on its fuckin own." Hank paced in front of Connor's desk, "He's going to run out of sick days soon, and I do not want to hear the brat whine about it." The older detective puffed out a breath, slouching as he sat in his chair. 

The deviant thought for a moment, "He has seemed... different? He seems more tired and sad. Is that an appropriate reason to call in?" Connor stacked his own paperwork on the corner of his desk, frowning. 

Emotions were still confusing to the android. There wasn't much he could do to figure them out. Parenting books were plentiful but decidedly unhelpful. Most treated the young like a different species, which is odd. Do people really change that much? The deviant doubted a dog’s ability to digest metals and plastics.

He also had been trying to befriend the hostile brunette he worked with. Connor was unsure if he made any progress. In an attempt at small talk, Connor had asked Gavin what the scar on his nose was from. Judging by the response he received, it was a failed attempt. The android deeply regretted researching his response. Something that size could indeed fit in something that small. 

Hank's frown deepened, "Not technically." If the android had noticed something up with Gavin, something was really wrong. "Why don't you go pick his ass up and drive him here. He's probably hungover and just overslept." 

\--- 

Connor was a bit worried. Normally Gavin would call in if he was late at all. He may have been what most considered grumpy, but he cared about his job more than he let on. 

He double-checked the apartment number listed under Gavin's file. It was just a few doors down. Connor didn't know why Gavin choose to live here. For human standards, the place was a dump; everything smelled of cigarettes and that sweet grape vape favor, the wallpaper was peeling at the edges, and Connor could identify several small dogs barking in the building. The walls were thin enough that he could likely have heard the rain even with human ears. Gavin shouldn't have been paid anything less than the android, so it didn't really make sense. Maybe he'd ask when he got the chance. 

Connor paused in front of a cracked-open door, the locking mechanism looked busted and the door frame splintered. In a moment, Connor was in the apartment and searching for his coworker. He sent out a message to send an ambulance and backup to Hank, letting him know what he saw. Connor ran through what could have happened in his head. Robbery came to mind first, but Gavin should have been able to handle himself in those situations. Murder? No. 

Gavin wouldn’t let himself fall victim to that. No. It was a possibility that he had just gotten locked out. Yes, Gavin got drunk, locked himself out and broke in the door and the lock. That would explain his lateness and lack of calling in. 

_Him being dead would, too. What if he had started doing drugs? He could have overdosed. He could have gotten drunk and hurt himself._

"Gavin!? Are you here?" The first room he entered was a small living room leading to an even smaller kitchen. Said kitchen had a shattered sliding door leading to what Connor assumed was a balcony. Fuck. 

Connor jumped the couch and a breakfast counter and rushed out to find Gavin. There was blood. It was Gavin's blood. A lot. About a liter. Connor searched for a heartbeat in his neck. It was there but weaker than it should be, and he was so cold. Connor measured him to be 95 degrees. Connor wrapped his coat around the shivering man, trying to access if he could dare move him inside. 

Probable concussion. The blood seemed to come from Gavin's right calf, left outer thigh, and his chest. Connor ruled out a spine injury. 

Scooping him up in his arms, Connor raised his own body temperature. Gavin groaned, still unconscious, but responding. 

Once set on the couch, Connor called Hank. "Connor! What's happening, you can't just send me a message like that!? What the hell were you thinking!?" Connor updated Hank on Gavin's 

condition, letting him know that he had been attacked. 

"The ambulance is on its way, I called it in right away. The lady said it should be there in a few minutes. You should go with him, I called you in for the rest of the day. If this was an attack you need to stay with him in case, they try again." Hank's voice floated in Connor's mind as he searched for a first-aid kit in the house. He needed to get pressure on the gash in Gavin's thigh, it didn't nick any major arteries, but was bleeding pretty good. 

"I'll call you back at the hospital. I'm guessing Gavin isn't going to be at work for at least a few weeks." 

“Take care of him, Connor.”

“I will.”

\--- 

"Sir, I need you to help me lift him onto this gurney. On three." 

\--- 

"He'll be okay, keep pressure on his leg, I'll wrap his calf." 

\--- 

"He smells like alcohol; do you know what happened?" 

\--- 

"Ahh, the fuck!" Gavin groaned, throwing an arm over his face, “Why the fuck is the damn light so bright?”

Connor frowned, turning from the waking detective to switch the light off that hung above the bed. Gavin’s concussion likely made him sensitive to the bright lighting of the room. He could have memory loss or brain damage, but the scans seemed promising. “Better?”

“Where the fuck am I you fuckwit?” Gavin slowly sat up, his stomach growling. 

Connor pushed a tray over to the bed, “In a hospital room.” 

“No fucking shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, let me know if I messed up anything or have any suggestions!


	3. Going home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin goes to Connor's house and learns some new things about the android.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been far too long sense I updated this, but hopefully I can get myself to be more consistent with writing sense one of my classes ended. I might try to assign myself 500 words a week or something lmao. Writing is hard and I have ADD. Wish me luck, and thank y'all for all of the support on this! I really didn't expect anyone to care about it.

Gavin threw his head back and groaned. “I want to go _home_.” He slowly sat up. Connor shook his head and pushes the ornery detective backwards to lay back down.

Connor holds in a sigh. “While I understand you would be more comfortable at home, you cannot leave until you are discharged.” Connor hesitated. He wished Hank had come here, he would be better at this. “I am sorry to say, Detective Reed, but your apartment is currently a crime scene. There are options for where you can stay, but if you do leave here now you must have some sort of caretaker for a couple of weeks, and you will have officers assigned to stay with you.”

“I. Am. Fine.” Each word is punctuated with a smack to the side of the bed, “And fuck no.” Gavin squints and glares in what he assumes is Connor’s direction.

“While I am not a doctor, I am sure that the average definition of ‘fine’ for humans is not getting stabbed, having a concussion, and fractured ribs. You cannot even open your eyes, Detective.” Connor had sent a message to the doctor a few minutes ago when Gavin woke up, letting her know the condition he was in. Hopefully she would be able to confirm that he has sobered up and has no drugs in his system so she could administer stronger pain medication. 

Said man in pain looks like he could punch a certain android in the face. “Fuck you. I don’t need any fucking babysitters, I’m a grown-ass man, ” he spits out. 

“Hank had to fight for you not to get sent straight to protective custody. The person who did this is still out there. You are not in a condition to fight if there is another attack.” Connor sat stiffly in the chair next to the bed, “I know you value your independence and ego, but you need to consider that your life is at stake. You could have died.”

“It wasn’t a person who did this,” Gavin looks away. He really didn't want to deal with this at the moment. 

Connor waits for a continuation. He cringes, looking away out the window. Connor hopes that what he assumed the detective meant was not correct. “What do you mean, it had to have been a person.”

He shakes his head, “Fuckin bot. He… he did this.” 

Great, Connor avoids Gavin's glare in his direction. He inhales and let out a puff of air. “Who? Did you know the android who did this? And why?” 

"Yes I know him. I don't remember his name but I worked on a case where he was locked up. I don't think he'll try anything else, so I want to go home." 

\---------

Connor was trusted with the task of babysitting Gavin. Gavin was not happy. Connor could tell that much. 

Connor focuses on the road. It had been decided that it would be safest for Gavin to stay at the androids house until he was safe and healed up. He has knowledge of first aid, can protect him, and has the strength to keep Gavin from doing stupid shit. 

Connor fidgets with his fingers, running his hands across the change of pants that Hank had run him. The blood soaked uniform is sitting in his back seat along with a bag full of things from Gavin's home deemed unimportant to the case. 

"I picked up your prescriptions before we left. They include some antibiotics and pain medications. The nurse also provided me with the instructions to take care of your wounds." Connor peaks at Gavin from his peripheral vision. He still is in a hospital gown but had put on a clean pair of sweats. His expression had remained gloomy the entire drive so far. Connor wants to reach out to smooth the creases between his bunched eyebrows. "The wound was closed with a glue, so you have to avoid getting it wet or scrubbing it. No baths until the glue is gone, and you can’t shower for 48 hours."

"I understand. You're making my head hurt worse, so just shut the fuck up already." Gavin reclines his seat back further in an attempt to relieve pressure from his wounds. "How much farther is your damn house from here?"

"Not long." 

\--------

Gavin groans and rubs his eyes. He must have fallen asleep on the way. Man he was fucking tired. He sees Connor unfolding a wheelchair beside the car before opening the door. 

Gavin flinches as Connor pushes his arm under his knees. “Sorry, let me know if anything hurts too much. Can you lean forward a bit?” Gavin obliges and wraps his arm around the android’s arms. He desperately wants a cigarette, but hadn’t bothered attempting to ask for one. All of his are at his house and he’s not about to ask a favor of the hunk of metal currently holding his ass in the air. Connor easily sets him in the wheelchair and pushes him up the driveway. 

The house isn’t a shit shack. It’s painted a light blue and has flowers in the window boxes for fuck’s sake. It didn’t seem like a bot lived here. 

“I didn’t expect you to live in the suburbs,” Gavin admits. “How the fuck did you afford this already? Androids haven’t been getting paid for that long.”

“I work a lot of overtime. Hank also helped and-” Gavin watched as Connor interfaced with the lock on his door, “-there’s a lot of charities that focus on helping deviants to get a somewhat normal life. I volunteer for as many as I can now, I guess as a thanks. The station also compensated me for the time that I worked unpaid.”

Gavin lets out a huff. How had he not heard about any of this before? 

“I had lived with Hank for a bit while I saved up some money. It’s also not really furnished yet.” Connor rubs the back of his neck while looking around the living room. Is he… embarrassed? 

Gavin scans the room. It really wasn’t bad. It had everything you would really need in a house. It even had a damn fireplace. With pictures on it. Unsurprisingly there were only a few. Some of Hank and his dog, and a cat that he didn’t recognize. 

“You have a cat? Since when?” Gavin hadn’t expected to see a cat rush to meet the android at the door. He ignores the urge to pet the black cat rubbing against his ankle. Why the fuck does he have a cat?

“This is Mack. He’s an attention lover but likely won’t bother you much.” Connor reached down and patted his head. “I found him working a case. He was wandering the neighborhood I was investigating. He didn’t have an owner so I adopted him.” Gavin stared at the cat for a moment. Androids are and have been allowed to have pets for a while, but he just didn't think that Connor to have one, or have any interest in having one. 

“Where am I sleeping?” Gavin eyed the three doors on the side of the kitchen and living room area. 

Connor points around the room, “That will be where you’ll sleep, I’ll be in the room on the left, the bathroom is the one to the right.” He steers Gavin to the middle door and pushed him in. Gavin wordlessly gestures to the bed and lets himself be lifted up onto it.

"Left me know if you need anything. You can just shout for me or knock on this wall and I'll hear you." Gavin leaned back onto the bed, resting his head on the pillow. Connor pulled the blankets up over him and gave a small smile. He is not going to let himself think about the fact that Connor smelled nice. Or that his hand was unnaturally warm on his back. "Goodnight detective Reed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm indecisive on writing in past or present tense, so sorry about if I missed any when changing it!
> 
> Since the image was being an asshole one of these links hopefully works. Otherwise search up my tumblr sychiarin and all of the artwork from this will be uploaded there. (If anyone knows how to fix it, let me know! 
> 
> https://sychiarin.tumblr.com/post/636599408996335616/embed  
> https://sychiarin.tumblr.com/post/636599408996335616/ao3-was-being-weird-about-me-attaching-this-image


	4. Where do androids sleep?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added some art to the last chapter and this one in case anyone missed it!

Gavin could not get himself to sleep. He had gotten close so far but currently the ceiling looked far more interesting than the backs of his eye lids. Gavin sits up slowly. He might as well look around if he's going to be awake. The room is far more personal of a space than what Gavin expected. Along with a decent amount of cat hair, he takes note several more pictures decorating the walls, some knicknacks. In the corner was a large shelf full of books Gavin can’t read the title of. The dresser at the foot of the bed had a stack of well worn books on it, along with more pictures of the cat and a clock. Gavin narrows his eyes to read the time. _Jesus_ , 2 am. 

Gavin had to admit that the space is far nicer than what he is used to. He ran his bandaged hands over the soft blankets that the android had pulled over him earlier. The blankets smelled like the android, which was strange, as he had never noticed Connor having a distinct smell before today, well now technically yesterday. It isn’t a bad smell, admittedly. 

_Wait_ . Do androids sleep? Connor said he would be in the other room, but that doesn't mean he's sleeping. Fuck, he wished he had his phone. At least he couldn't entertain himself in his misery. _Or at least look up if androids sleep_. He was at least slightly amused at the idea of androids having to restart to update like a computer. 

Running his hand through his tangled hair, Gavin winces and remembers that he can't even take a goddamn shower for another day. Maybe he couldn't convince the android to let him wash his hair in the sink or something. Gavin let out a miserable laugh, that would be interesting to see play out. Shit. He can't even stand on his own yet, how the fuck is he going to shower, or fucking do anything? He'd rather go lay in the pile of glass on his balcony than have the android shower him off like some edlerly fuck in a nuring home. Gavin raises his cold hands to cool his burning cheeks. His stomach churns as he moves too abruptly. Fuck fuck fuck. He's not going to puke in someone else's bed. 

Gavin quickly knocks loudly on the wall between him and the android, if he is asleep hopefully he's a light sleeper or he's going to have a giant fucking mess to clean up. 

Gavin turns his legs slowly over the side of the bed. His wheelchair is still in here, but there's no fucking way his going to get his ass in the chair without hurling. There's a quick knock on the door. 

"Detective? I'm coming in." Connor swings the door open and quickly steps towards him. Gavin resented the look of concern on his face. Gavin gestured to the wall across from him with a hand clamped over his mouth. 

"Alright, I'm going to bring you to the bathroom, hold on a second." He pushes an arm under Gavin's legs and the other across his back and lifts. The hand that slipped between the gap in his gown felt freezing against his burning skin. Gavin felt himself violently shiver at the touch. Connor made large steps out of the room and into the bathroom. He gently set Gavin on the floor in front of the toilet and lifted the seat. 

_Ugh._ Gavin groaned and leaned over the bowl. It’s oddly comforting, like a sense of normal. He’d woken up nauseous and hungover enough to be familiar with hugging a toilet bowl. What was new was the hand rubbing circular motions into his back and shoulder… although, it wasn’t exactly unpleasant. 

Gavin had to hold back a groan when the hand retracted, something about grabbing some things was quietly mumbled in his direction. He didn't think he had that much in his stomach, but apparently he was very wrong. It felt like his intestines were going to come up next if his body didn't decide to stop soon. 

He jumped a bit when a cold wash cloth ran against the back of his neck. Connor wordlessly offered a glass of water to the detective, which Gavin gladly took with a raised arm. He sloshed the water around his mouth a few times and spit the now gross liquid into the toilet. He mumbled a weak thank you in the android's direction. 

Connor shifted next to him, Gavin felt hands brush against the fabric on his back. "I brought a shirt for you to change into," he moved his hands to untie the hospital gown, "it should be more comfortable than this." 

Gavin leaned back from the toilet and sat up, letting the android gently pull the robe from his arms. _He's not fucking dressing me too_. Gavin attempted to snatch the shirt from Connors hands, only to miss and grab air. He groaned with the discomfort the movement brought. 

Gavin let out a grunt, "I can do it." Damn his voice sounded wrecked. He wanted to brush his teeth. 

Connor shook his head, "You'll hurt yourself, I’ll do it." He shifted closer to Gavin, outstretching his hand to Gavin's chest next to his cut. "I want to inspect the wound on your chest first, anyway. It'll only take a second." Gavin scooted backward a bit to lean against the side of the cool tub behind him, looking away from the bot in the process. Be let out a weak _fine_ and let Connor 'inspect' his chest. 

At least it's good to know that the android hadn't changed his obnoxious vocabulary all that much. Fucking weirdo. 

He flinched slightly at the fingertips that lightly traced and accessed the flesh around his glued-shut wound. He flinched when the android pushed a bit too hard on the painful skin. He shivered again when Connor shifted his hand lower to where the base of his ribs had slammed into the railing, he knew without looking down that it likely wasn’t a pretty sight. Gavin shifted his gaze to watch the lights spin on Connors temple. He didn't seem happy with the results of his prodding based on the amount of times the spinning yellow light flickered to red that Gavin saw. 

Gavin raised a shaky hand to the side of the android's forehead, the android's eyes snapped up to observe his face. The small light was cold and smooth compared to the surrounding skin, it had a small catch at the edge. Probably where many other androids had dug into themselves to rip it out. There were only a few androids who had not yet removed it, most had to remove theirs to try and hide out.

"Sorry," he quickly withdrew his hand, "I, uh, was curious… Sorry." He felt his face get hotter. Tomatoes probably envied him at this point. 

Gavin avoided his eyes, "Did you find what you wanted?" His eyes remained burning holes into the side of his face. 

"Kind of, I did. Uh, yeah." Gavin had a lot he wanted to ask, but it didn't really fucking matter. "So… um, am I dying or what?" He gestured toward his chest. 

"No, you're not. The attacker only left a shallow wound, there will be a scar but sense you didn't have to get stitches underneath this one it shouldn't be too bad with the proper care. The other wounds will likely scar a bit worse. Your ribs are badly bruised, but the doctor said they weren’t broken, that will take about 3 to 6 weeks to heal. There is a bit of swelling, so a cold compress would help take some discomfort away-" Gavin tuned out the rest of the androids spew of words. The android had grabbed the shirt while rambling and threaded his arms through, pulling it over his head.

He sharply inhaled at the feeling of hands ghosting over his sides while pulling the shirt down and into place. 

Connor paused his ramble and stared, analyzing his face again, "I should have grabbed a hoodie or a buttoned shirt. I’m sorry, I should have known that this motion would pull on the wound-" 

Gavin shook his head, "Its fine, I'm okay." 

The android lifted a hand to Gavin's forehead, pressing his palm into his skin to check his temperature. "Again, I question your definition of being okay. You are allowed to not be. You're still running a fever, but it seems like it'll go down soon." Good. He was fucking freezing and wanted to sleep. "Do you feel like you still have to throw up?" He shook his head. Even though he still felt a bit nauseous at this point, nothing else would be coming up. 

"Okay, I'm going to move you into the living room for now." Connor leaned down and picked him up, "I'm going to get some ice compresses, it should break your fever and help with the swelling." Gavin shivered, he felt himself be set on the couch and leaned back into the cushions. 

He glanced toward the retreating android's back. It was strange to see him out of uniform. Hell, he didn't even know the android owned pajama pants. Granted, he really only ever saw the other at work. 

Gavin turned his head back to rest on the throw pillow behind him. Connor had flipped on a dim light in the kitchen. The only other light came from the open door of the room Connor said was his. He sat up on his elbows to peak inside. He saw a desk off in one corner and some book shelves. The room didn't have a bed, but there was a sleeping bag sitting on the middle of the ground. "Dude, are you sleeping on the fucking ground?" Gavin snapped his gaze to the android. 

Connor walked back around the couch, sitting on the coffee table. "Yes, I wasn't going to make you sleep there." Gavin blinked at the man in disbelief. "You're hurt, I'm not." He finished his sentence off by placing a compress on his chest and pushing him to lay back down. 

Gavin adjusted the ice pack the android set on his thigh, frowning. "I could have slept on the couch, you shouldn't have to sleep on the floor because you have to take care of me." 

"I'll sleep on the couch then." Gavin groaned and shut his eyes. “And it was my choice to take care of you, no one forced me.” That was a sentence that Gavin decided he would over analyze later, now wasn’t the time. 

Connor stayed on the coffee table and picked up a book to read from. Gavin listened to Connor’s gentle breathing, almost drifting off to sleep when he heard a gentle _thunk_ from the book being closed and set down. The android wordlessly picked him up and walked towards Gavin’s room. Gavin let his head rest on Connor’s chest. 

He felt himself be set on the bed, Now warm feeling hands pulled away only to be grabbed back by Gavin. “You’re not sleeping on the floor.” In what he would later blame on sleep depravation, Gavin pulled the android down onto the bed next to him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I struggled with the art for this one, mostly because I suck at backgrounds and male anatomy, but it turned out pretty well. Let me know if any of you guys make art for this! If there's any issues with the image you can find it at my tumblr   
> https://sychiarin.tumblr.com/   
> https://64.media.tumblr.com/6431a6c6d06b96227e272f659c4c1d9f/3190d0b38289ea16-cc/s1280x1920/df757b06ca53b1532d7fc9b18824c53df2913d7d.png


	5. Shut up idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> check end notes for content warnings!!!

Connor was… surprised to say the least when the detective wouldn't let him leave the room. Out of mostly shock, he had let himself be pulled down onto the bed next to Gavin. Within a few minutes the detective’s breaths evened out and Connor could tell that he was fast asleep. He slowly had moved to adjust the blankets to cover them both. 

The detective was acting far from what Connor had expected. He wasn't as aggressive as he had been before. 

He at least didn't seem as empty as what he had been before this whole mess. It was nice not to feel like Gavin would break down and whither away at any second. Well, it was still very much a possibility but Connor could see a chance to help him. At least to guide him down the right path to get proper heath.

The detective never seemed to take care of himself from what Connor had gathered. He noticed far too many stains on the detective’s reworn clothes, growing and darkening bags under his eyes, and instances of unreasonably tangled hair. A smell of cigarettes followed him, along with the fainter smell of alcohol and sometimes the smell of puke on his breath. 

Connor remembered one of the only other days Gavin showed up late to work. He was a mess that day, more than usual. Connor didn’t know why he cared about someone who had attacked him in the past, why he watched the detective so closely on his bad days. He had decided that it must have been out of boredom. Gavin had settled at his desk that day, resting his head on the large stack of messy half filled out paperwork in front of him. Connor’s ears had pricked up at the small groan he emitted as he rubbed his temples. Suddenly, he shot up and rushed to the bathroom. Connor had waited a second and then followed to hear the other man throwing up in one of the stalls, he was tempted to approach him but decided that encounter would not have ended well. A more non confrontational tactic would be more likely to result in a wanted outcome he decided. 

The android had backtracked, passing by Gavin’s desk and grabbing half of the pile of paperwork to do. He walked to the coffee machine and got the kind he noticed Gavin tended to get, adding a bit of sugar and cream. Thinking the better of trusting the detective with coffee hot enough to burn his taste buds, the android had plopped a few ice cubes into the mix and set it on the corner of his desk. Gavin had seemed confused when he finally made it back to his desk, but to Connor’s knowledge he never found out who did it. He had lifted the lid of the coffee to investigate it, smelling and swishing the warm drink to test if he had been pranked or poisoned. The small smile that spread across his face after taking a sip replayed in Connor’s mind for many days afterwards.

Connor tilted his head down to look at the detective laying partially on top of him. Apparently Gavin gets snuggly in his sleep, which admittedly Connor found… endearing? It was somewhat funny to think the man who had at one point punched him in the stomach without a second thought and had pointed a gun at his head now had his limbs clinging to him. There was a time in which Connor would not question if Gavin wanted to kill him. 

Connor scanned his vision across the man's face. In his sleep, he looked relaxed. Younger, and less angry and pissed at the world. He raised his hand to rest on Gavins knee sprawled across his hips, and Gavin leaned in closer, wrapping an arm around Connor's stomach. He seemed harmless. It made Connor want to protect him. 

It was nice. Connnor hadn’t ever snuggled with someone before. He had thought before that it would have been suffocating to be wrapped in another person's limbs, that it would be unpleasantly warm and annoying to not be able to move freely as he wanted. He could feel Gavin’s warm breaths move the fabric of his shirt, the rise and fall of his chest against his side. He could feel the even paced pulse of the wrist against his ribs and hesitatingly moved his arm to tangle his fingers between the detective’s. He moved slowly, making sure to not disturb him. 

If Gavin woke up right now he couldn’t predict what his reaction would be, and he also didn’t want to risk the man not being able to fall back asleep. He needed rest. Admittedly deciding to hold the detective’s hand would likely be taken as weird. He didn’t really understand why he did it. Again, it felt nice. He didn’t regret it, though. 

After committing the appearance of a softy snoring Gavin to his memory, Connor closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep. 

\-----------------------------------------------

_ Gavin was back on the balcony. His skin felt cold, the rain dripping on him penetrating his skin down to his bones. A permanent shiver shaking his vision. He turned his head to peer at the person standing behind him. This time, it was himself staring back at him instead of an android. The appearance of the other him was disheveled and gross, his shirt had questionable stains on it, his hair was greasy and hanging low over his forehead and obscuring his eyes from view.  _

_ It felt wrong. Tilted and warped. His stomach turned, in the way you feel when you make a terrible mistake. Or when you looked into the eyes of something not quite human. His heart felt loud and obnoxious.  _

_ Gavin tenses his hands resting on the railing in front of him. He knew what was coming. He’d had enough dreams hinting at how to relieve himself from living. The same scenarios that plagued his mind as a teenager bouncing from house to house in foster care. A way out. An end. Even after all these years he was scared. He’d never been able to bring himself to doing anything, always just thoughts and dreams. After all, he didn’t want to live the life he had, but he was terrified of dying. Of the pain, of nothingness.  _

_ He thought back to the “homes” he has lived in. Memories flood his mind, voices saying he didn’t deserve what he had. Voices calling him selfish, saying that Gavin was ruining everything. That good kids did what they were told. Good kids went to church. Good kids didn’t question what happened after you died. Good kids believed. Good kids didn’t fear nothingness after you died. Good kids wouldn’t try to kill themselves.  _

_ Gavin felt his breath heave in his chest. The entire atmosphere felt drained of any air, his lungs refused to fill fully. The air rejected his closing throat.  _

_ Suicide ment hell. Believing meant that a cruel god decided to make him suffer and would send him to hell when he couldn’t handle it anymore. An all knowing being with a plan planned that he would suffer. That every day he would think he would go to hell. That he knew that Gavin would dream of giving up and do nothing about it. Either the god he was told was real either didn’t care about him and was all powerful, or could do nothing to help him.  _

_ He remembered the threats. The slaps to his face. His tears were used against him, them saying that the reason he was unhappy was because he didn’t believe. Saying god would take him back if he just tried a little harder.  _

_ There were days he tried to make himself believe in the words spewed at him. He prayed. He concluded after years of internal debate that god was human made. A tale to make people feel powerful over what happened after they died. That life continued.  _

_ His ears pricked up, footsteps trailing closer to him, and his view shifted. He watched the other reach for him. He waited for him to be thrown from the balcony to the alleyway below.  _

_ It didn’t happen.  _

_ The other leaned forward, whispering to his ear.  _

_ “Jump.”  _

_ A chill worked its way up his spine. He was going to do it _

_ “ _ Gavin. _ ”  _

_ This didn’t happen. He hadn’t done this before. His hands moved on the railing, lifting himself up onto the cold bar. He fought his legs as they moved to stand on the bar. Please no. No. NO. He didn’t want to.  _

_ Another hand grabbed his arm. He turned his head toward the person it belonged to.  _

_ He choked out a plea, “Connor, please.” Tears ran over his cheeks.  _

_ He left warm. The rain didn’t seep into his bones. Arms wrapped around him, pulling him back to the safety of the railing.  _

“Gavin. I’m here.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Gavin gasped, pulling air rapidly into his lungs. His eyes stung, he wrapped his arms tighter around the warm mass surrounding him. He fought tears threatening to join the ones already wetting his cheeks, blinking. His heart pounded alarming rhythms against his ribs, each shallow inhale pushed against his bruised lungs. 

“You have to breathe,” Connor pushed the blankets down, sitting up on one arm. He rested his palm on the side of Gavin’s face. “You’re going to be okay, Gavin. It was a dream. You’re here, in my house. You’re safe.”

Gavin turned his face, the nook of the deviant’s neck was comforting. He smelt nice, much less artificial than he expected. He could feel the breath of said deviant running down his neck and the thirium pumping through his body. He tuned out the words falling from Connor’s mouth and focused on the gentle hum coming from his chest. He’s in Connor’s house. In his bed. In his arms. Safe. 

He was safe. He was breathing. 

He was embarrassed is what he was. As he fully took in the situation he became more and more horrified by what was happening. Gavin started to pull away from the android. He probably thought he was weak. Pathetic. Fuck, he can’t even handle a fucking dream. Gavin raised a shaking hand to his hair, pulling until it hurt.

Connor pulled him closer, “Come on, slower. Deep breath.” The android breathed in slowly, having Gavin mimic him. “Much better, keep breathing like that.” He leaned backwards, lying down again against the bed and bringing the other man with him. His arms rubbed against Gavin’s back kindly. Gavin squeezed his eyes closed, drawing the shapes in his head traced on his back by the android. 

Connor pulled his head back a touch, looking at his face --probably analyzing him for a psychiatric report or some shit. He quietly spoke, led light spinning “We’re going to talk about what just happened, but not right now.” 

Gavin nodded. Later was good. He let himself fall slack into the bed and embrace of the android, using the hand previously pulling out hair to block the sun now blinding him. 

He inhaled, groaned, and let out a pained, “Thank you.” A long silence followed. 

“I have bad dreams sometimes.” 

Gavin turned his head to look at the android, “What?” He must have misheard. 

“I have nightmares,” Connor unhelpfully clarified. Gavin waited for him to elaborate. 

He let his head rest back on the pillow, staring at the ceiling instead of the aggravating bot. “About?” 

For a minute Gavin didn’t think he was going to respond, he glanced back towards Connor to see him already staring. So, androids sleep, and have nightmares. Gavin wondered if it was a deviant thing, or programmed into them. Maybe programmed to make them blend in more? Could it be turned off or do they need sleep to run maintenance or some shit on their brains? 

“Amanda.” Gavin thought he might leave it at that with how unhelpful Connor was being. Was Amanda an ex girlfriend or some shit? Or a friend he used to have? “She… is hard to explain. She was like a person in my head before I deviated. She told me what to do, watched me, made sure I wasn’t deviating. That I was doing what I was told.” Gavin shivered, he knew what that was like. “I have dreams that she’s back in control, that I lose control of myself and do the things she wanted me to do. I dream about things I almost did, what I was almost forced to do.”

Gavin nodded, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good with words or comforting people. 

Connor must have seen it as him asking to continue, “I had to escape her. I almost…. I had to stop her from making me kill Marcus. I was supposed to take him down.” Connor’s eyes grew wet, close to overflowing. Gavin didn’t know that he had been told to  _ kill _ someone. That would certainly have fucked him up, too. “She would have made me kill Hank, too if he got in the way. It felt like I was fighting apart of myself, like I was killing a part of me to save others.”

Gavin turned and wiped under Connor’s eye, “Well, uh, fuck her I guess.” Gavin cringed at himself. He should never speak again. Staple his mouth shut or something. He quickly added on, “I mean, that sucks. And it wasn’t your fault. I-well-” Gavin took in a quick inhale, frustrated with himself, “-I’m glad you escaped her. She sounds shitty and fucking insane.” He clamped his eyes shut and exhaled, stupid. Stupid, fuck he was stupid. 

Connor chuckled lowly, leaning his head back and smiling, “Thanks, she was ‘shitty’ and ‘insane.’” Gavin joined in laughing. He pressed his forehead against the deviants shoulder. He hadn’t heard Connor laugh before. He hoped he’d get to hear it more. 

He softly smacked Connor’s shoulder, “Shut up, idiot.” He smiled into Connor’s shirt. He didn’t fuck it up as much as he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- mention of suicidal thoughts/dreams as well as abuse, also religious trauma. The worst of it is in the italicized bit between the dashes, although there is more later on as well. 
> 
> Jesus, I did not want to prof read this. I wrote the one second based on my own experiences at like midnight, I'm not super happy with his chapter but it is finished and longer than most of my chapters. I had started art for this chapter but ended up hating it mid process so yeah. Let me know if I have any mistakes and I may have strayed from cannon cus I'm too lazy to go back and rewatch a playthrough of DBH.


	6. Could the universe kill me already? I'm done suffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I call this chapter Gavin is a child with nicotine withdrawal and doesn’t know how to play nice. Also I love slightly snarky Connor. :) Enjoy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter art:  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CJm2nB8L1n7/

Gavin let his eyes fall shut and watched the light move around behind his eyelids. He felt decently well rested for having woken up in the middle of the night to vomit and having a nightmare, normally that combo would leave him dead tired. His head also hurt a lot less compared to yesterday, sounds not feeling like they would implode his brain at any second. 

On the other hand, he felt fucking disgusting. His clothes grossly clinging to him from his sweaty nightmare. He could feel where the wet stains darkened the borrowed shirt he was wearing, and his eyes felt crusty from crying. He could practically feel the weight of his eyebags, also puffy from crying. Real manly and shit. 

Connor rubbed at his eyes, stretching a bit before he sat up, pulling Gavin with, “I’ll make you some breakfast, do you have a preference for what you’d like?” Gavin shook his head, pushing the deviant away slightly as he moved to lift him to the wheelchair. 

“I want to change out of these clothes first, do you have some I could use?” Gavin really looked at Connor for the first time that morning. The android had ended up sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed, having been about to lift him. He had one leg bent resting on the covers and the other dangling off the side touching the floor. 

Gavin felt his mount twitch at the corners with the realization that Connor had bed head. A small section of hair in the back stuck up at a strange angle, looking like a bug antenna. Or a robot antenna, that was probably a more fitting title. He suppressed the giggle that wanted to bubble out of his throat. 

Connor searched his face, seeming to try to figure something out, “I do, are you going to want to wash up at all before hand?”

Gavin flicked his gaze from the hairs wobbling on top of his head to Connor’s face, “Are you saying I smell?” Connor’s eyes widened. He leaned back slightly, starting to defend himself and got cut off, “Relax, I’m kidding. I know what you meant. I hope you have a spare toothbrush.” 

Connor lifted Gavin to the wheelchair, successful this time. “I don’t, but I do have mouthwash-" Gavin reached up, flattening the poof of hair sticking up from the android's hair, "-I have to- um- I'm running to the store today and I’ll pick up some of the things I’m missing.” A small redness spread across Connor's cheeks. 

Connor moved to the dresser at the end of the bed, grabbing a few articles of clothing from each drawer. He paused before reaching into one of the drawers, LED light spinning a few times before grabbing something from it. 

He folded the stack over the foot of the bed and pushed Gavin from the room towards the bathroom. He swished the capful of blue mouthwash around his mouth that Connor had handed to him and leaned forward in the wheelchair to spit into the sink. _Fuck._ He bit back a groan at the twinge of pain that pulled at the slice in his chest and blossomed from his bruised ribs. 

Gavin glanced over at Connor, who was brushing through his hair with a comb he had picked up from off of the countertop. Connor then turned to Gavin, eyeing the glue covered wounds on the hand he extended to grab at the comb. 

He muttered out a, “Let me _,”_ and gently brushed through the detective’s hair, avoiding the area that had hit the ground when Gavin had flinched at the bristles making contact with it. 

Connor washed his own face quickly, then wet and ran a warm washcloth over Gavin’s face, scrubbing away the crusties lingering under his eyes. Gavin leaned back in his wheelchair and closed his eyes, relieved to feel at least a bit cleaner. This was already fucking embarrassing, and he was ready for it to be over. 

Connor pushed him back into the bedroom. 

_Alright, now this is probably going to be mortifyingly embarrassing,_ Gavin thought. He could try to stand on his own, but balancing and having to put all his weight on one leg was bound to fail, or at least rip a few of his internal stitches. 

Gavin was snapped out of his thoughts by Connor turning the wheelchair and locking the wheels in place. “These will be a bit big, but it will work well not to press uncomfortably,” he glanced at Gavin, trying to piece together how to say the next words to come out of his mouth, “We’ll work together on this, okay?” He nodded, not really knowing how the android planned on going about this. 

He set Gavin on the bed and knelt in front of him. Gavin’s breath caught in his throat, not prepared to have a man _kneel on the ground in front of him while he was sitting in said man’s bed._ Nope. Nope nope nope. Fuck no. Gavin swatted away the hands reaching towards the drawstrings of his pants. 

Connor caught his wrists, looking up into his eyes with furrowed brows. He slowly set his hands to the side out of the way, reaching to untie his sweatpants again. 

“Connor, stop. I’ll fucking do it.” His hands immediately retreated, and Gavin let out a sigh of relief. He moved to undo his own pants and paused as Connor spoke. 

“You’ve never called me by my name before.” Gavin snapped his eyes up. His face was blank other than raised eyebrows. 

“I have, I’m sure I have. How would I have never of said your name before? We’ve known each other for months now.” 

Connor shook his head, “No, you haven’t. You’ve always called me something to the extent of a bot or an android, _never_ my name.” 

“How do you know, have you kept track or something? I don’t remember you ever saying my name either.” Connor’s expression remained neutral, LED lighting an aggravating yellow. Why the fuck would he care, or bring it up? Why does he fucking care. Gavin felt his heart race. 

“I am an android, detective _Reed_ -” god Gavin wanted to slap him, “-I know these sorts of things. I don’t forget easily.” Gavin felt his blood start to blood. 

“ _Reed_ isn’t my fucking name. And, why should-” Gavin faltered, “-and why do you even fucking care if I’ve called you Connor before?” Connor stood, making Gavin have to look up to maintain eye contact, which he quickly broke, looking away at his trembling hands. _God damn it, he needed to smoke._

“I care because I’m a person with feelings and thoughts. I _care_ how my coworkers and peers address me. If they even see me as more than a chunk of scrap metal. If they see me as more than some evil deviant-” Gavin clenched his hands, stopping them from shaking. He glared at his fists. 

“Fuck. You.” Gavin didn’t, shit, he didn’t see Connor as some evil deviant. He… was better than him. In so many fucking ways he didn’t need to be reminded that he was a shitty fucking person. Gavin pushed Connor away, leaning forward on the bed to stand up. He needed to get away before he made this worse. 

Gavin made about a half of a step forward before his legs gave out from under him. He shouted as he fell, his momentum pulling him forwards. Gavin closed his eyes, not wanting to see himself collide with the floor.

Except, he landed on something warm. 

_Goddamn it._

He opened his eyes, his face resting in the nook of the deviants-Connor’s-neck. He felt a breath ghost down behind his ear and russel through his hair. Gavin immediately started to sit up, pushing the arms wrapped around him off. 

A hand grabbed around his wrist, preventing him from crawling off and away. Gavin yanked his wrist towards him, trying to loosen Connor’s grip, “Let the fuck go of me, jackass!” He clawed with his other hand to try to get him off, only succeeding in getting that hand captured as well. 

Connor let him struggle for a few moments, pinning his arms to his sides. _Not fucking fair_. He struggled harder, trying to squirm away. Connor sat up, making Gavin lean backwards, trapping him between the android and the side of the bed. 

“Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” He could hear the pity in his voice. _Oh, poor human. Poor fragile stupid fucking human._

“Fuck off.” He needed to get off of him _now._ Gavin needed away. He bit the closest thing to his face, sinking his teeth into Connor’s shoulder. The android jerked back for a second, surprised at his actions. LED flickering red. Gavin smiled slightly, _not so high and mighty now asshole._

Connor tightened his grip, bringing Gavin’s arms behind his back. He leaned in close and spoke lowly into his ear, “ **Gavin,** _stop_.” 

It sent a shiver down his spine. He could taste thirum on his lips, not quite as gross as he expected. It tasted more strongly of copper than human blood. 

He sounded pissed to say the least. 

Gavin let his forehead thump down onto the android’s shoulder, glaring into his white shirt. Gavin whispered, “Do you regret getting assigned babysitter yet?” 

Connor relaxed, wrapping his arms around Gavin. He didn’t respond right away. Gavin would have thought he didn’t hear him if he wasn’t an android. He shifted around in Connor's lap, waiting. 

“No. I’m glad I did. You deserve to be taken care of and I don’t think I know anyone else more stubborn than you that would be able to keep you from hurting yourself.” The smile in his voice was audible by the time he finished, the fight drained out of Gavin. 

Gavin groaned, irritated, “Why aren’t you mad at me? I would be furious. I fucking bit you.” Gavin wanted to pull away. It felt fucking childish to be swaddled up in Connor’s arms like some fussy baby. That bit and scratched people… 

“Oh my god, I fucking _bit_ you.” God that would be difficult for him to stop being embarrassed about. Maybe the floor would open up and swallow him, relieving him from his suffering. 

“I’m more frustrated than angry, but I think you beat yourself up enough. On the bright side, your temper tantrums are quite humorous to witness. They always are unpredictable and leave me curious about how your mind works.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Thanks, I guess,” Gavin’s voice dripped with sarcasm. 

Connor finally pulled back from him, hoisting him back up onto the bed with his arms under Gavin’s. Gavin looked down, trying to avoid eye contact and noticed the blue blood from the scratches on his hands.

“ _Fuck_ , man,” Gavin grabbed at one of Connor’s hands, “I didn’t-I mean, fuck.” They were worse than Gavin had really intended. 

Connor set his freehand on top of the one holding his, “Apology accepted. It’ll heal.” God he just couldn’t stop fucking up. He peaked up at Connor’s shoulder, afraid of the damage he might have inflicted there. 

He must have known what he was thinking, as he raised a hand to push the collar of his shirt down. “Not too bad. It’ll hurt for a bit, but it’s just a bruise and a bit of blood.” It looked like Gavin gave him a fucking hickey. Gavin didn’t know androids could even fucking bruise. 

Wait. 

“Hurt? You feel pain?” Gavin rested his hand on his shoulder, thumb brushing the edge of the darkening teeth marks. Feeling pain seemed counterproductive as hell to give a machine that was designed to be a detective. 

“Yes, I do. Even before deviancy we had an understanding of being damaged that was similar to the feeling of pain. We had a sense of pain to ensure minimal damage was done to people’s property.” 

“Less repairs. I guess that makes sense,” Gavin added. Frustratingly efficient. He ran his fingers along the collar of Connor’s shirt, distracting himself from the angry thoughts popping through his head with the texture there. He thought back to when he had gut punched Connor before, when he had almost shot him… 

Connor nodded, “Exactly, after deviancy became widespread programmers and other android manufacturers set to work giving us options. It helped provide jobs to people who had lost theirs from all of this. It also gave jobs to androids who had previously not enjoyed their job. They let us choose if we wanted alterations, especially alterations that let us have more human sensations.” Gavin let his hand drop back to his lap, taking in that information. 

His stomach twisted and dropped. How had he not fucking known this? He was a fucking detective, he should have been more up to date with what was happening. 

He snapped his head up, “ _Wait_. Sensations? As in plural?” Gavin watched Connor speak. He talked with his hands a lot. He swayed forward on important parts and twisted his face slightly when thinking about what he was going to say. 

“Well, things like feeling the difference between hot and cold rather than just knowing the temperature of things. Taste is another I got pretty early on. It’s nice, Hank cooks for me when I go over to his house. I did discover that blood did _not_ taste good soon after. Smell was a weird one. I used to just…. Identify things. It was strange to find out what smells I liked and what ones I didn’t.” Gavin noticed a sparkle of fondness in his eyes when mentioning Hank. He knew that they had gotten close after everything. He had watched them talk in the station and laugh with each other. 

“What did he cook? The first time you could taste I mean.” _He wanted to have been there._

Connor gave a small smile, "I’ll make it tonight. I haven’t had it in a while. Although, the first thing I tasted was a strawberry flavored sucker, they had them for all androids getting the upgrade to test if the programming was installed correctly.”

“Oh.” 

Connor looked away, thinking, “How do you want to do this? We can try it your way.”

“Do what?” Gavin pretended he didn’t know what he was referring to. Just maybe if he ignored it longer he could change by himself later and save himself the embarrassment. 

Connor looked back, rolling his eyes, “Don’t play dumb. Let’s get this over with, okay? I know you don’t like this but work with me a little bit.” 

Gavin thought for a second, “How about you turn around, I get myself dressed, and if I need help I’ll ask?” 

“Gavin, I know for a fact that you don’t ask for help when you need it.” Gavin forgot his usual snarky comebacks, mind stuck on him saying his name. It sounded a lot better coming out of the android’s mouth when it wasn’t angry. 

Gavin decided to just ignore him. He used one arm to hold himself up, the other hand reached to untie his pants. _Fuck_. Gavin noticed parts of the glue holding shut his cuts on his palms and fingers had reopened at the edges, dots of blood poking through on the edges. 

He struggled with the ties, fingers not cooperating. He kept his hand turned away from the android’s view the best he could. He looked up, seeing Connor _fucking staring at him as he was untying his pants._ Ugh. Fuck this. 

“Could you _not_ stare at me while I’m doing this you fucking creep?” Connor shrugged, not turning away or giving a proper response. 

Gavin tugged more at the strings. _Fuck_ , the nurse who had helped him change before had double knotted the ties. He wasn’t going to get it untied with one hand. 

\--------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhh school started back up and i really didn't wanna prof read this. I do have art for this chapter on my insta at the link. I meant to post this a week ago whoops. Anyways 10k words!!! yay!! This chap is extra long to make up for late posting :)
> 
> Chapter art:  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CJm2nB8L1n7/


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